Conjugal Footwear

I had the very good fortune to attend a wedding this weekend. It was my favourite kind of wedding – the kind where it’s palpably evident that the bride and groom are best friends and spend more time than is decent having a damn good laugh together. My marrying friends demonstrated this happy kind of love amply when they only just controlled their giggles at the word “sustain” in the vows. “It’s a funny word,” said the English-teacher bride later, “it makes you think of cows being milked.”

They spent part of the evening before their big day making giant dinosaur Top Trump cards for the wedding tables and they had a cake made of cheese with Lego people and knitted mice on. It was that kind of wedding. Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus Rex and Brachiosaurus all made an appearance, but there was no sign whatsoever of Bridezilla.

Usually, of course, I love a wedding not only for the reminder of the bond humans can share, but also for the photo opportunities. This time I spectacularly failed in the human-snapping department for some reason, but consoled myself instead with accosting people for photographs of their feet. You get excellent shoes at weddings, and through feet I met some very pleasing people indeed. I recommend this method if you ever find it difficult to mingle at parties – all you need is a pocket-sized point and shoot and you need never feel socially awkward again.

6 replies to “Conjugal Footwear

  1. Why do all attending females in these photos, with the exception of one sneakers wearer, wear footwear with elevation pillars which makes them seem taller?
    Is this a cultural thing, penis envy, or does this have reasons rooted even deeper in the inexplainable and incomprehensible depths of the female psyche?

    1. Funny you should say that because we had a similar conversation at the wedding. Several of the women (including the sneakers wearer) had brought spare shoes for the later, less formal part of the day when they could no longer tolerate the pain of their heels. All of us agreed it is insane, but many women didn’t feel suitably smartly dressed for a wedding in flat shoes. So it seems it’s a cultural thing and probably nothing to do with penises or psyches. There were several women with flat shoes, though, but they were generally less visually dramatic than the ones I photographed. And the bride wore flats (final picture).

  2. I’m happy to see one of your posts in my reader, and it makes me smile because it is original and interesting, as usual.
    Purple velvet boots is what I would like to wear myself! Unfortunately my bad back wouldn’t bear that, not even for the ten minute walk to the metro from home. Lately, I’ve had to wear flat shoes with rubber soles. It is good, but not fun. Fancy shoes are only possible when I am biking.

    1. Funny! The purple velvet feet are mine. Great minds, etc.

      The boots aren’t mine, though. I borrowed them from son 2’s lovely girlfriend. I am proud he has a girlfriend with such good shoe taste.

      Good to cyber-see you again!

  3. Oh, nice 🙂 You are lucky.
    It could have been the boots of my eldest son’s girlfriend as well, even though she’s probably more into high-heeled leopard… and Gender studies. The son himself bought some purple “Lennon boots” from London last year.
    Those two young beauties always look amazing together (which of course is what they are aiming for).

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