10 Ways to Deal with an Impending Empty Nest

I have been reading the “How to write a tolerable blog and get people to read it” instructions.

Apparently is advisable to include photographs in your blog because people prefer pictures to words on the whole, or something like that. This is a bit of a letdown for someone who mainly does words, but I do in fact do pictures sometimes as well. I mainly do pictures of three types of things:

1) Things I see in Cornwall which stand out. For example, a set of chairs with tennis balls rammed onto their feet or  some enormous graffiti scrawled neatly across a wall, clearly by an offended middle aged lady: “SHAME ON YOU, EMMA POST”.

2) Other things I see in Cornwall, specifically people with notable faces/headgear/pets/troubling appendages.

3) Days out in Cornwall and its environs, with a particular emphasis on finding ways to have an entertaining time in a county where not much happens on a day to day basis.

Recently, I have been doing a lot of number three. This is because (I am rather embarrassed to admit) I am experiencing ante-empty-nest syndrome. In roughly two months I won’t have any children any more. They will both have packed their spotty kerchiefs, tied them to knobbly sticks and set off into the world to seek their fortunes. This is, of course, an excellent thing and one that children are supposed to do, and it never once occurred to me that I would be the sort of mother who would metaphorically tie an apron round her waist and stand in the doorway weeping into a clean linen handkerchief. But.

Anyway, I have come up with some recommendations for ways to deal with impending nest emptyage. here they are:

1. Hang around waiting for your cat (or someone else’s) to look a bit stupid and immortalise him doing it.

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2) Become a pedant. The pigeon’s WHAT?Image

3) Buy some stick-on googly eyes from Wilkinson’s and find places to stick them that result in puerile merriment.

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4) Buy packets of rubber ducks and follow the same procedure as above

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5) Gather some lovely friends and take photos of yourselves in establishments with shiny cutlery.

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6) Buy paper suits from Poundland and try them on.

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7) Stay in cheap hotels and hide behind things

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8) Write deeply unsuitable words in unsuitable places

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9) Try hula hooping in the Pound Shop

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10) Explore the possibilities of moustaches

11) If all else fails, put a blanket over your head.

I hope that helps.

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About throbbingsofnoontide

Bewildered human. Female. Looking for the next entertaining thing. I write a blog to share the bewilderment. It's here: https://throbbingsofnoontide.wordpress.com/
This entry was posted in Family, Photography, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to 10 Ways to Deal with an Impending Empty Nest

  1. LG says:

    A guide for our times. My favourite part was the nobbly character of the sticks. That’s my kind of detail.

  2. Ry says:

    This is my new favourite blog , so true!! Keep them coming please……

  3. That baby picture gave me such a massive cackle. Thank you, much needed 🙂 Your blog is excellent.

  4. These are extraordinarily good suggestions. The paper suit one especially. Genius.

  5. I had to click like, but there should be a LOVE button for this one! Where oh where did you get the ducks in colors besides yellow? I want them!

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