Me: We need to take Brown Spaniel out somewhere – he’s bored.
Me: Where shall we go?
Spouse: Dunno. Let’s just get in the car and see what happens.
Me: Well… wouldn’t it be better to have a plan…? I’d like to go somewhere interesting…
Spouse: No. Too much kerfuffle. Let’s just go.
[after 15 minutes driving]
Me: Oh. We’re not going to Tehidy woods are we?
Me: Oh… we ALWAYS go there… that’s boring… can’t we go to a beach instead? Somewhere we’ve never been before?
Spouse: I like trees best.
Me: Yeah, but woods equals puddles equals filthy brown spaniel, and it’ll be me that has to bath him when we get back.
Spouse: It’ll be fine. We’ll go in the North Cliffs way so it’s a bit different.
Me: Hmph. Boring. There’s nothing to photograph in woods. Just trees and mud.
Spouse: Well, it’s too late. We’re here now.
[out of car and trudging through trees]
Me: I suppose that fern is quite pretty.
And those trees are acceptable. But I like photographing things with a bit of visible human input.
Oh! Someone’s tied ribbons in that tree. I suppose that’s something.
HOLD on… what’s that in that clearing? I’m SURE I saw a ticket booth! Right in the middle of nowhere! Hang on… come with me through these trees a minute. THERE! Look! A ticket booth!
I’m going to look at it.
It’s brilliant! Just look at it! Sitting there all on its own in the mud!
Spouse: You should see what’s through here as well…
…and come and see this!
Me: What’s that ringing noise?
Spouse: Come and see.
Me: Christ. Don’t ring it in case something weird happens.
Spouse: There’s more down here… come on.
Me: Do you think it’s supposed to represent a snowy bit?
Spouse: Maybe. Look, you’re supposed to follow where the bunting goes.
Me: There are keys everywhere…
Spouse: Look, they’ve made mushrooms…
Me: Yes! Out of gran ornaments!
And there are things hanging everywhere…
Spouse: Even better things round the corner…
Me: Ha! Gran lampshades!
Spouse: I bet the charity shops couldn’t believe their luck getting rid of those all in one go.
… And look over here. Your mum would like this…
Me: Bloody hell. That is amazing. This is the best trip to the woods EVER. It’s made my week. Or month.
Spouse: And you didn’t want to come here.
Me: Yes, well I’m very glad we did.
Spouse: So the moral of the story is that even the ordinary can be brilliant if you look at it from a new perspective.
Me: No it’s not. The moral of the story is that going to the same old place is only fun if someone goes there before you and hangs up a load of hearts.